Paris Hilton's Dreams Dashed by Sex Tape

Jean McCullum

Paris Hilton again... No wait, really! It looks like we've misunderstood the airy heiress for a party girl with a sex tape and an endless social agenda, when she should be more comparable to, let her say it, Princess Diana.

Paris Hilton is bummed that bad press and exes have tarnished her chances of being the second Princess Diana. We didn't know this reincarnation was possible, but without the sex tape with Rick Salomon, Paris Hilton claims she would nearly be her clone. We've known her to have a good time (a few times too many), but Paris Hilton, a role model matched for British royalty? Let's take a look at the celebutante's most recent charity.

We didn't see the real Paris Hilton in the countless paparazzi crotch shots, or in the release of a sex tape, or in jail, or on reality TV. No, we had to wait till now to see her documentary, "Paris, Not France," that debuted at Cannes Film Festival to really understand. We weren't even sure what to think of her, whether she was the capital of France or a repressed celebrity, but now we know that her hardships have made us hallucinate.

"That's not what I wanted when I was a little girl. It's not what I planned. I always looked up to people like Princess Diana and now I can never be like that," said Paris Hilton. Oh, ok, so the downfall of Paris Hilton's royal status was the sex tape, reckless partying and DUIs are merely extracurricular activities not worth noting.

The real problem is that we've been looking at Paris Hilton as a mythical creature, or maybe a piece of plastic. "People see me as a Barbie with a perfect life, a fantasy... maybe that's what they like. There's a mystery about me because how I am in public is completely different to how I am in private," she said.

Paris Hilton denies recent accusations that she and beau Doug Reinhardt had a screaming match in his driveway. Why is everyone out to get her? She might have to change her number again because of prank calls. Oh my, what it means to be misunderstood and famous (and rich).

Who do you think the real Paris Hilton is, and should we care?